I cannot believe the first trimester of my pregnancy is already over. It seems like only last week I found out I was pregnant with our first child. The emotions I was experiencing, still experiencing, and probably will never cease to experience makes me lean on faith throughout every day of this amazing journey. I’ve had a pretty easy pregnancy so far, I still don’t know what the dreaded morning sickness feels like, nor do I wish to experience such as thing.
However, I did have my ups and downs during the first few weeks, or as my husband, Justin, likes to call them, “the weeps and the yeeps.” I wanted to give a little update on how things are going for us—the good, the bad, and the ugly truth. However, writing and blogging, for me, is a much better outlet than speaking to a camera like Justin does. I get more personable through writing, and I can let my guard down just a bit more than I would on video.
As women, I think we all have day dreams about that special moment we want to share with our loved ones when we find out the precious news. It should be celebrated, cherished, even wished for. But as life would have it, our day dreams typically are not reality. Life gets in the way and things are not always as we plan them, however, that shouldn’t let our circumstances prevent our happiness. Pregnancy is a very special time but it can also be very stressful, full of anxious thoughts, and, of course, the inescapable emotional feelings that take us for the ride of our lives.
Our pregnancy was definitely wished for; we had only been trying for the past few weeks/months. When the bold news presented itself to me one morning, I was so excited I couldn’t stand to hold in the secret. Justin was in the other room, packing up for another week-long trip on the road. I called him into the bathroom and told him the wonderful news. As I was jumping for joy and wanting to hug it out, he remained a little in shock and didn’t say too much. After a moment’s hesitation, his smile finally crept forward, and I knew in that instant we were both on board. In about an hour’s time Justin had to leave and wouldn’t return for another week. So here I was, a newly diagnosed mother with all these questions buzzing around my head.
The same week I found out I was pregnant, we had already planned to put our house on the market. The stress of preparing, staging, and selling a house, along with packing up all our belongings and moving to a new city, is enough to cause a stressful year alone. Add in the new baby factor and everything that comes with pregnancy—it wasn’t exactly the way I planned my first pregnancy to go. But again, that’s the way life was going to deal our cards, so I knew I had to lean on faith to get us through. Because that’s ultimately the only choice I had, to remain optimistic and trusting in the plans He has for us. Life will never bring you roses without presenting the thorns first.
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.” Jeremiah 29: 11-13
Where do I even begin to explain the feelings of being suddenly overwhelmed? It doesn’t hit all at once, and I am quite sure it doesn’t hit immediately after you find out the news either, but eventually it creeps in like a dark shadow on the wall. The feeling you get when you go to a baby store for the very first time, looking at everything you think you need for your sweet little baby. Between all the different choices of strollers, the amount of advice people give you on a daily basis, the number of hours spent reading mom blogs, and the horror stories you hear from co-workers and friends there is no wonder we first-time mommies are scared out of our minds. It’s a venture through unknown territory and uncharted waters.
For the first three months of my pregnancy I wanted nothing to do with the stress of registering, reading, or planning. I wanted to enjoy this time of figuring out what was best for me, my body, and my growing baby. I urge you to do the same if you are a new mom. Forget the stress of having to know everything about everything before you are even showing. Forget the stress of knowing what stroller to buy, what car seat fits best, or what breast pump is most sought-after. Pregnancy is such a special time in a woman’s life, it is the only time where we have complete bond with our baby. Not to mention, there is a nine month time limit on that special time. Those nine months should be spent in harmony with your mind and body, not stressing it out to the point of exhaustion, frustration, and feelings of being overwhelmed.
If you were, are, or plan to be pregnant in the future, I pray that the inevitable feelings of being overwhelmed remains at bay; not to let it consume your thinking, but to allow you to sit back and realize that motherhood is so much more than just reading a how-to book and making the perfect registry. It’s about learning to trust your new mommy instincts, leaning on your faith, and knowing everything will be perfect just as He planned it out to be. The few moments I utterly sank with feelings of being overwhelmed, I knew I was thinking about it too much. I knew I had to take a step back, look at things from a different perspective, and lean on my faith. I knew that no matter how hard I planned, my plans would never compare to the ones He already has for my family.
“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk, and not grow faint.” Isaiah 40:31
As many of you might already know from following Justin and me on YouTube and social media, our house hunting thus far has been a dud. The search for the right house in the right location has not presented itself yet. For if nothing else, remain positive, right? I am now 15 weeks pregnant and my anxiety levels should be increasing with every passing week we don’t find that perfect house. But what I’ve learned so far throughout all this is patience and trust. It is one thing to trust, yet still have anxiety on the side—what I like to call “micromanaging God’s work”; it is another thing entirely to lean your complete weight, face-first into the wind, and let go completely of your worries and anxieties.
Now, I would be lying if I said I never had a meltdown thus far. Nobody is perfect, we all slip and fall a time or two, but what matters is how we get up. Do you remember Justin talking about the “weeps and the yeeps”? Well, I had the weeps a few times, when I let my faith and trust wander a bit too far. My mind started becoming overwhelmed and I lost sight of the true importance. I got caught up a time or two in needing to buy the perfect baby clothing and finding the perfect baby nursery furniture. I fell into the inevitable sunken feeling of being overwhelmed with everything that needed to be done. Thankfully, however, I have a wonderful husband to help me back-up when I fall and reestablish my rock of faith.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” – 1 Peter 7
Pregnancy is a beautiful journey from the very start. The further along the journey you venture, the more miracles you experience daily. I have never experienced something so genuine, pure, and selfless as I have while being pregnant. My thoughts revolve around the baby and what it’s needs are before my own. Making sure I am supplying our child with everything it needs, from nutrition to physical activity to maintaining a balanced life overall. It’s teaching me to be strong in my thoughts and sure in my decisions. It’s almost difficult to explain unless you, my friend, have been through the journey too. Although I still have several months to go (and not to mention a belly to gain) I am sure I will be learning something new every week. I hope you will come along the journey with me as I learn and grow in this new season of life. From one woman to another, this season of life has left my mouth gaped open wide, awestruck with the beauty of how He sets forth each and every one of our plans in motion.
All photos used were taken by and for The Healthy Chew, all rights reserved.
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